Wow it's been too long.

Things are going great, as always. I have had a job promotion within the last 6 months and I moved to Salt Lake. My life has been moving on exceptionally. My daughter is getting smarter by the minute, and growing up so fast. She is 4 years old now!!! How the time flies.

My move to Salt Lake has been a hard one. I don't have any friends that live up here, which is really hard. At the same time it's a relief because I have had more time to concentrate on myself and on my daughter. I know that I have become a better mother and a better person by this. I am no longer in a relationship which also makes it harder. We lived so closed together and that is my only friend up here. All things happen for  a reason and I promised myself that no matter what I wouldn't waste too much time on something that isn't for me. Even though we were together for almost 2 years things sometimes don't always end up the way we want them too.

I am finally in the place in my life where things are going very well. I have a new car and a beautiful apartment. If everything works out as planned I will buy my own house at the end of the year. That is the most important thing on my list. With my own house I have officially grown up. I don't want anything big, just something small and comfortable... maybe enough rooms to rent a couple out to my friends. Only problem is good deals don't really show up that often in the Salt Lake area.

Anyway that is my update. Really boring I know.

Looking Back..

On a lot of things that I have done I don't regret any decision that I have made. I don't regret where I am in life now. My Boyfriend is a dream boat!!! I am so in love with him. He is the best thing ever.
He loves me no matter the cost. He gives me the shirt off his back. The truth is after Rob and I broke up I had no idea how to go about dating, or even moving on.


The story of us! I was still working at the hotel when I met this good looking man. I was training the first time I set my eyes on him! He asked me if I had the keys and me being as naive as I was responded with a laugh. He probably thought I was so stupid cause he stood there and just looked at me. I was a little nervous because I thought that he was SO freakin' cute! So then he told me that he delivers the coffee every Wednesday and that it was OK for me to give him the keys. I just said no and to wait for me to ask someone if it was true. It was true. I felt so stupid. Weeks and weeks went by and casual hello's and goodbye's and I just remember telling everyone that I had a crush on him. I remember that he smelled so good! The halls would smell like him after he left. I was still in a relationship so I couldn't even get further into my crush, but I did look forward to Wednesday's and the girls at work would give me updates if they saw him lol! Finally one day our conversation lasted about an hour. I thought that maybe he was interested in me. Turns out he was interested, but he was just very shy. I was interested in him as well, but didn't know how to go about it the right way. Then Rob confessed his infidelities and he broke up with me. I told Rob that this was the last time that we would ever be together. I think he rubbed it off his shoulder thinking that I was joking. I wasn't a month after I got over the sadness... which to tell you the truth I don't know why I was sad. I was in a toxic relationship. Anyways I had decided that I wanted to get to know Mr. Coffee. I hadn't seen him in months so I was starting to think that he maybe wasn't delivering to us anymore, but if that was the case I would have known because It would have been up to me to find a new Coffee service.

He walked in that looking so handsome and the first thing he says is "HEY!!! I was wondering if it would be you at the front desk today." I had the biggest smile on my face. We chatted for another hour but neither of us asked each other out. So I went out and bought a new outfit for the next time I would see him. It was summer time so I just bought a short sleeve button up and a nice pair of slacks. I was so nervous that day that he was coming in. I had told everyone that I was asking him out that day... so of course everyone at work was making me nervous. He finally walked in. My heart was racing I thought I was going to pass out. Turns out that there was a problem with the coffee pod so I was trying to show him exactly what it was. He complimented my watch while we were waiting and I told him that I like his and he took off his watch and put it on my wrist. I thought I was going to die of excitement. Any who I never ended up asking him out I chickened out. The next week my brother was waiting to give me a ride home. My brother saw that I was flirting with this guy and he asked me if that was the coffee guy, and I told him that it was and that I was going to ask him out. My brother approved and said go for it he's a good looking dude. I chickened out again and I think it's because my brother was watching me. I went into a meeting and it turns out while I was in my meeting my brother asked Mr. Coffee for his number for me. Pretty embarrassing, but since then we have been inseparable. We have had some ups and downs especially when it comes to Vegas and what happened. Like I said earlier I don't regret any of the decisions that I have made. Including Vegas... I love Vegas and I'm so excited to go back again. Morgan is by far the best decision that I have ever made. I am so lucky that he loves me and my daughter so much! He brings out the best in me.

I hope everyone has a blessed day!!

Sometimes it just hurts!

I can't get over the fact that someone can just betray you just like that! I can't get over the fact that sometimes it just hurts. I think about my past 4 years with Rob.. and sometimes randomly someone some girl will pop up on the do you know them tab. I kinda know them and their profile pic is on his boat! Supposedly when we were still together! It's not the fact that I'm bitter that bothers me 'cause I am a little bitter. It's the fact that Rob is a habitual cheater and I was supposed to be the love of his life. It's the fact that he has no respect for his Daughter or the Mother of his child that bothers me. I want him to be happy and if sleeping around is what makes him happy then so be it. Sometimes the thought that someone lied to you so much just hurts, and there really isn't anything that helps with your emotional guilt.

NOW that's all the bashing I'm going to do for a couple of months lol! GREAT NEWS! Jerry has gotten a new job! SAD NEWS!!! :( He had to move to Houston TX for that Job. After he is done with training and everything he is going to be moving again. He will either be staying in Houston moving to Jersey or Cleveland! We have family and friends in both Houston and Jersey so that would be the best for him, but I'm not so sure about Cleveland. My wish for him is to go to Jersey. I'm pretty selfish when sometimes I pray that he stays in Houston, but the fact of the matter is Jersey is closer to his son and he needs to start building a bond with him. I will miss having him so close everyday and just doing crazy stuff 'cause we could. It's hard when you have to grow up and move on. No one said it would be this heartbreaking. I think about it now and how I'm moving up to Salt Lake in a couple of months. It's going to be hard not having my closest friends and family with me. Planning all this stuff is just so hard, but oh well... such is life!

MORE GREAT NEWS! I got a promotion at work! I've only been there since the beginning of January and I've already been chosen to be one of the Spanish Reps. I get a new desk, more money $$$ YAY! I also get a nicer schedule!! Hopefully (fingers crossed.)

LILS is doing great. She is in dance class so she is learning so much and having so much fun! She comes home and shows me everything she learned. She plays Zumba with me on the WII so mommy can loose weight! That is what she tells everyone. She is just too smart for her own good. I know that every parent says that about their kid and most of them are right, but my kid just has this passion for knowledge she loves to sit and learn. I do not care if she is that nerdy kid in school that knows everything because that way I know that she wasn't like me and getting into trouble. I want so much for her. She is starting school in Aug! It makes me really nervous and I hope that I am doing the right thing by letting her go to school so early! She wants to though and this school for kids like her wants her to go too! They think she can be something extraordinary. It's weird right!? Thinking that your kid could be the next Albert Einstein. I hope she is. Then I would know that at least I did something right with her.

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

A new year, a new me, and a big change

I got a new job... I started dating the best MAN on planet earth! I got my financial life in order. I'm going to move to Salt Lake... it's definitely closer to work! I'm going to buy a new car for myself... it's time.. I deserve it. In a couple of months I will buy my own place.. I deserve that as well, and so does my baby girl Who is 3 now so crazy!!!
My New Years resolution is that I'm not going to let anyone bring me down anymore. I know that I'm a good person and that I have a lot to offer, but if you want to mess that up... your problem not mine. I'm not going to worry sick about it anymore and feel sorry for anyone or myself anymore. I'm definitely not going to pretend to be something I'm not. I don't believe in a lot of things anymore, and that's ok. Because if I am mistaken I know that the only one that can hurt my feelings by pointing his finger at me is God himself!

I just can't!

I just can't sit here and let you do this to me every summer. I just can't let him keep tearing my apart into little pieces! I won't, I can't! I was so madly in love with you for four years of my life! I wanted nothing more then to just spend the rest of our days together.. fill up the house we were going to buy with children. I would've given everything to just try and make a life with you. Sometimes love is just not enough... it's not glue. So why should we try so hard to stay together? You say you're miserable... you're only miserable because you were asked to be a real man and take care of your family! You were asked to spend time with your women and your children! This is my fault though. I should have never let you back in after the baby was born, I knew exactly who you were and what you were doing and like a fool I let you back into our lives not once not twice but four times. Every summer you need your break you need your freedom. The real world has no room for people who have no ambition and no need to contribute to society and get an education to further your life. How is it that this person that I loved doesn't want anything for themselves or their family?!! It's not about the "Riches" or having money for everything. To me being Rich means you have everything you need to make you feel better and blessed! A degree, a house, a family, a good working car, a nice savings account.

We were so opposite at the beginning, but it wasn't a problem because we complimented each other very well! Now we are just so opposite we live on different planets. How could you just up and leave your family for a new one!? What man does that? Oh I could tell you Rob does that! Every year, and every year I forgive him because I can't stand the fact that my daughter will be broken like I was. I'm not the type to just move on with her life as if nothing happened and start dating other people. But at the same time, what am I supposed to do with my life? I can't take you back or forgive you every time you decide you want to find another family!

The sad part is that I work so much to make up for your pay cut! For you wanting to be closer with us and be "better" for us that I have no time in my day to care about what you are doing, to care about what you said or how you are doing... or who you are doing (sorry but these are my thoughts, you don't get to judge) I don't get time to myself to sit an actually feel sad about it this time. The only time I get to myself I have so much to do I don't sit and ponder and ask the why me's? I just really don't care this time. The only thing I care about is you wanting to divide our daughter like she's a bagel and we should spend equal time. Why should you get more time then me? I work just as hard? Just cause you're Lil's father doesn't mean much? Yes you're good to her, but no that's not how it works! You hated the truck that we bought you never wanted to drive it and the first thing you do is fight for it and keep it! What's it about anyways! I don't think I can be civil. Quit frankly I'm getting annoyed! I don't wish you bad I wish you well I just wish that you could get it together for more then 6 months at a time. That is all I wish for you.

geez!

Trials! They suck! Good people don't deserve for bad things to happen to them. A women that I work with has been diagnosed with breast cancer. This women is one of the hardest working, one of the sweetest, and she's just a really good person. I can't stand to think of her going through that!!! Her last day waws yesterday until further notice. We talk everyday sometimes for hours. She never mentioned anything to me. So when I was asked to pull out the applications today it was a bit of a shock, but it's just in case she doesn't return. She brings me food! She tells me her troubles... she is a good person. I'm just beside myself because I can't help her.. at least I don't know how to help her. I can pray for her, but that's all I can think of doing for her. She has Grandchildren my nephews age. That means that she could be my mother! I'm sitting her just typing like a stupid robot with a million emotions running through my mind.
Anyways I'm rambling on... pray for my friend please!

oh hello!

Well house hunting stinks. Whoever said it was fun was a big fat liar! We can't decide on anything, people sometimes are so weird that a house can be instantly a no when you walk in the front door. Being within budget is a pain, because you have to realize this is a 30 year commitment you can't really get out of this one as fast as anything else. The only thing that I have seen to be true is that it's a buyers market! I wish we could just build, but that's kind of a scam because they are in the business of making money so they may say that they start in the $140's but after you pick out all the nice things that you want for you house you total ends up being $213,900 WHAT THE H!! That's not in the $140's that not even in the $100,000 range. Plus being a first time home buyer that makes your mortgage like $1,600 a month! Unless you make tons of money or have it growing on tress that is nearly impossible!

Other then that things are great. Work is work and I'm ready to be done or find a new job. It started out so great, but now peoples true colors start to shine and they can be deceiving and backstabbing. Who wants to work in a place like that? I can think of one person who would totally thrive off of that drama hahaha! I'm happy that I don't have to work weekends anymore. I didn't mind it at first, but it started to bug me that even on Mother's Day I couldn't even get the day off so I could go home and be with my Daughter.

I love my Daughter so much! She is so smart! She speaks 3 languages her English is the best out of them because she likes it better. She knows everything about farm animals and what they eat and why they do things. She knows how to plant and water the garden. She can pretty much fish on her own. The only thing she can't do is cast the line out, but dad or myself help her out on that one. She sings like crazy and sometimes it's all made up stuff. The first thing she asks me for in the morning when she wakes up is a "Yummy Breakfast!" She's a stubborn little girl though. She has to do everything herself. Which is nice because since she has been potty trained for 6 months now only this last month she has been just grabbing the step stool and sitting down by herself and if I go in to see what she is doing in the bathroom she kicks me out and slams the door. She likes to pee in peace lol! She's such a little sponge right now too, everything you say she will repeat and she wont forget that you said that. Let me give you an example because I don't want some people who don't know my parenting at all to start making up stories about me again! So the other day I was just sitting down with Lili and we were coloring and she said something about Grandma, and I told her No, and I can't really remember what she asked... it was something about going to be with Grandma, and I got annoyed not at my daughter but the fact that not my Mother but the other Grandma likes to put stuff in her head. So I said no and under my breath I just said she's just really annoying now. So when my mom came over she told my mom "You're not annoying Dranma, other Dranma is really annoying hu?" (dranma= grandma it's really cute how she says it) My mom of course laughs because she agrees, and sometimes people just need to know their place.

Changes!

So Work has been giving me crazy good hours!! I have come to the conclusion that I will never have the weekends off! I doesn't bother me that much! It's not like I hang out with friends anyways! Money is the top priority now days since.....

WE BOUGHT A TRUCK!! A cute little 4dr Tacoma just like I always wanted! The plan was to sell the Mazda and get something more economical!! But of course I saw the truck and melted and I had to have it! I love it so much... Lil's calls it "Momma's baby truck" so far it's been the best thing ever! In hope it doesn't turn around and bite me in the bum!

So it's been 2 months since I dropped my phone and I haven't fixed it yet, so I think I might get up and fix that!!

Nothing New Happening!

Molly our puppy is getting big! She's like the size of a full grown Maltese, and she's only 10 weeks old! So she might be bigger then I thought. Oh well we love her and we are keeping her! I haven't been up to much! Just trying to get an apartment! But so far nothing is pet friendly and if it is pet friendly its like $1,000 a month which lets face it, I'm not bringing in that kind of money myself!
Work is great! Lili and I have just been hanging out a lot!!
Oh I sold my car! I need more money in my pocket, I thought it would be easier to get a new car after I had all this cash, but it's been just as hard as when I bought the Mazda!

I love my Mac by the way! It's like the best thing I ever bought!!

She's the Best!

I have the best puppy in the world. She's so lazy and just loves to be loved, and all she wants to do is eat and sleep... but in the middle of the night she wants to bite the crap out of you! It hurts so bad. I've given her a million chewies and I guess to her nothing tastes better then my hair and skin. I can't wait til she is older and we can take her to the park to play. I think she sleeps all day cause it's too cold outside and she's stuck all day inside until she goes out to go potty.

I finally got my MacBook that I've been wanting. I'm so crazy I just should have bought this in the first place instead of buying my PC! Which by the way stands for PIECE or CRAP! I can't believe it. Oh well lessons learned. I didn't bring my paper work in on time for school so I have to wait to go in the summer! I wanted to be a pathologist. For those of you who don't know what that is.. they work in the Morgue. I know it sounds so gross, but I've done a bunch of anatomy labs and we have to practice on cadavers and it never bothered me! Even in high school it never bothered me! I just figured you're a Doctor, you get paid like one, but you don't have to deal with patients and liability and all that stuff, and obviously you have to figure out how to help them cause they can't talk and tell you how they died. Sick and twisted but the Dexter Morgan in me has found this pretty exciting for the past year. I took some nursing classes and I loved the medical aspect of what Nursing has to offer, but I don't love that you're butt is always on the line! Plus everyone and their mom wants to be a nurse. I mean why the heck not you start out at $25 bucks an hr. IDK though I better get a clue before may though. Because everything Is due in May so I can start school back up. I'm so thankful that I have a job, and that I can afford things like my car, home and school! It all adds up but in the end I know that the Lord is really looking out for me because I'm doing everything that's right!

Funny that you like me!

I just have to say that 2010 has been one crazy year for me. Full of stalkers and changing of my phone number... like 3 times. People peeking at my facebook, and major cleaning of the friends list and what not. I just can't trust people like I used to! It's really sad but what are you going to do!?

I went to a Jazz game with some of my best friends Chelsie and Turner. We had a blast! I think we had more fun on the train home then at the actual game! I love these guys so much we always have so much fun and it's never a dull moment. We went back to Turn's cute house after we got home, and I was looking around his room and I found a blanket that I gave him like 6 years ago. It filled my heart and I wanted to cry, it means a lot that he would keep it after so long. I cherish his friendship so much he has just been the Best of the Best Friends to me! No matter what he loves and supports you, and I know that he is going to be so successful in life.

My Cute Friends!!
I love hims!I love hers. Even though I look like a ghost!! Ugh!

We had a great Christmas

This year Christmas was pretty tough seeing that my little family is officially seperated:(

Lil had a wonderful Christmas she got a million My Little Pony things, and lots of clothes, and an activity center so she can color!

I got a brand new blow dryer and flat iron... YAY I was so happy! I also got two sets of jamies and best of all MONEY!! So I bought my TOMS!!! It was a great Christmas for all of us!! My ex sister in law forgot My scentsy gift :( but thats ok.. I will just wait until I get my new place for more things!! Its going to be so hard for a little while.. I might even have to get a second job! I have to get my own place.. I really don't wanna stay at my moms! I love her but I like my space! I love Spanish Fork too! I wouldnt wanna live anywhere else! Anyways I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Christmas Morning!

Christmas Eve laying on the floor! This is the only way I would get a picture!

Today My Girl Is 2!

Today was Lili girls Birthday!! My baby is 2! Ugh it seems like it was just yesterday, but I am so happy to have her in my life. The party was a success!! Thanks to Everyone that came! We had a Dora and Diego party cause she is obsessed with them. I think it went well overall! It's hard when you try to mingle with everyone! I feel like I might have left people out! But I think we did good! Maybe we can get pictures uploaded and I can show you guys! Anyways! I'm so tired... I've been working a lot and it's been stressful. I went to the doctors today and I have Bronchitis, I had to get two prescriptions because it's pretty bad... but I never went to Walgreens to fill them hahaha! Anyways I will upload those pictures later!
Happy Birthday to my Beautiful girl!!!! Mommy Loves you more then you will know!

Fall season for us!

Just pics of lils and her pumpkins. She was so excited when she stepped outside the other morning and Grandpa Gourley had left her pumpkins on the steps. She was screaming like it was the best thing ever!! Stinkin' cuteness is what my baby is. I'm studying hard or hardly studying if you want to call it I NEED to get into this program and it's like flying over my head. This is why they say don't take breaks in between school because it's too hard to go back, ugh pray for me please! Anyways Lil is going to be a pirate for Halloween and I have no idea what to be some cute of course!! I need some help. I need to sell my contract with sprint. Since going back to school I can't afford to pay $60 a month anymore, cause that's gas money a month. So my parents agreed to let me be on their plan. BUT I can't afford a cancellation fee too. So if you know anyone who is wanting to switch to sprint.. let me know cause I will give them my phone. I also get 25% off my bill. Anyways I have the HTC Hero.. it's a wicked awesome phone. So please just let me know if you know anyone or even if you yourselves want it. I pay $60 a month for unlimited talk text and web. Plus 25% off like I said. Thanks!

CD95DDBE-EAB4-AB02-9F70-EFF5CD0B40F8

1.02.28

Nothing really happening!

Rob has 3 weeks off and guess how many times I get to see him!!??? Maybe 3 days lol! Hunting season is a killer for me, no pun intended. I miss hims and I've barely had time to talk to him cause he has no reception this is gay! On the bright side some exciting stuff has happened. My Brother moved in with us... He's back from Puerto Rico which makes me really happy cause I haven't had a sibling around since Cris died. Oh how we miss you Cris.. but this will just have to do as well. He's transferring to the nursing program here, which means we will be going to school together!! I start in January pretty exciting. I've been so down lately and I've just been praying for things to work out for me.. and to my surprise they really are!
About the house... the bank called Rob and said that they wanted to work with his offer. Well it's not the nice houses in Hobble which he was second guessing.. it's the Wizard of Oz in Palmyra. I went to visit that house with my brother the other day. The neighbors have two dogs, a German Shepard which doesn't bother me at all because that dog is so nice and especially to Lil', BUT they have a PIT BULL!! And he's mean.. he's kept me in my car a couple of times it's pretty funny, but I don't want to be doing that everyday! Especially when I'm with my daughter in our backyard and the dog comes over and tries to kill us. I think I all ready told you but the house needs repairs. The kitchen has to be fixed first, and then in the Emerald City laundry room I want to put another shower.. just a shower which is needed in that house.. and then little by little I will start fixing other major things. I don't have any pictures this time to show you so it's probably pretty boring.

Some minor updates!

My Daughter is officially a big girl who needs big girl undies! She goes to the potty all by herself and all because she wanted to and not because I wanted her to, all at 22 months not bad at all. AHHH she makes me so proud to be her mother sometimes it takes my breath away and I sometimes have to remind myself to breathe. I guess that's only a love a mother would know.
We are all doing good and we have fallen in love with 2 BEAUTIFUL properties in Hobble Creek Canyon, and Rob's family friend is going to help us out as our Realtor. Now the only thing left is to place the best bids and wait and see what happens. That's about it.

This weekend!

This weekend was really busy for me... we had two important events to attend!

1. Was my Best Friend from High School Alex's Wedding. She married Ben Speas who I've never met, but he seems to be so in love with my friend it's wonderful. They both show so much love to each other its what love should look like. The wedding was at the Bungalow in Pleasant Groove. I have honestly never heard of it before, but it was a pretty neat place and the food was actually pretty good. It looks to be family owned and operated so that's a plus too. I just felt so bad because I was supposed to say some embarrassing things about Alex during the roast, but my child was being so bad I was running all over trying to stop her from breaking things. Ugh not fun! Next time I know, no more kids they just don't want to sit and listen or hang out. I am so happy for them and especially because they got married in the temple, and if you knew the Alex that I knew back in the day... it's just a complete 180 from who she used to be. She has grown up to be so kind and loving.. just an Alex that is really a true example of a good LDS women.

The happy couple I didn't get too many pictures cause Lily would scream if i took the camera


Walking to the reception.

Lil and I waiting for the wedding to start
She made a friend.

2. We had my friend Gabriel Jolley's Eagle Court Honor. He is a good kid, always has been and always will be. I would babysit this boy all the time and he was just so funny. He wants to go to Stanford for Gymnastics, and I honestly hope he gets to go, or even for the Olympics would be so amazing for him.

This was before we walked in of course my hair is flat and im holding a bottle.

I look like a heffer but everyone else looks great!And last but not least my baby girl! She puts on smile on my face even if she is being out of control.

So update on the house! It's a no go.. which is not bothering me at all we have a ton of houses on our list and the next one is in Springville and it's got a pond with a well, but the house was just so weird. I will keep you all updated though!

We...

Put an offer on a house! We have been looking for soo long and finally we just say one and put an offer on it, hopefully the bank accepts. It's the total opposite of what I thought my first house would be. It's so UGLY on the inside!! I get teary eyed just thinking about it, but it's the potential of the house that makes it appealing. It sits on 5.22 acres in the middle of nowhere.. not really but it's in the stix. I'm more stressed about the fact that I have to actually remodel something with Rob's brother and his mom and my mom. They all offered to help and clean and what not, but it's just UGLY : ..... ( The laundry room I kid you not looks like the Emerald City from The Wizard of OZ. It's not the house I want but more the land. I will be living in a 60's nightmare for a little while. First thing that is getting fixed is the kitchen and the carpet and Rob is on Board with everything that has to do with it! Then the next project after that is putting in a new bathroom in the laundry room! Which is HUGE and I really think it would be a good idea. Then who knows what else we would do. If you guys know people that remodel and they throw away good bathroom cabinets or anything like that let me know! Cause the upstairs bathroom is a hot mess and I hate it, but we just don't have an extra $50,000 to fix everything we want.

So an update with lily! She will be 2 in 3 months!!! So exciting and she is having a Dora/Diego Fiesta Party. She counts to 10 in 3 languages 1. Tongan 2. Spanish 3. English. She can point and tell you what just about anything is. She sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star all by herself word by word.. and She loves Old McDonald, the only animal she seems to really care about though is a duck. She isn't potty trained just yet, and I'm terrified to try just because it makes me sad that she will be able to use a baby potty! Her new favorite word is YUP! She absolutely loves to play at McDonald's once a week. She loves to play tea party too. We also went to Lagoon a couple weeks ago, and she loved that as well.. went on the rides by herself.. she did not cry once.
Well that's about it.

We're Back!

From the state that is inhabited by CRAZIES!! The trip was fun aside from the face that my sister and baby JO were in the hospital the whole time! That little Angel was sent from Heaven! After everything that they had to do to help him get better, what he cried was so minimal! God really answered our prayers and he is doing really really good.
We never got to do much of anything but we spent time with family which is the most important thing of all! I cried like a baby when I had to leave! The look on my dad's face destroyed me. He looked as if he would never see me and Lil ever again. I cried the whole 4 1/2 hr plane ride home and when I saw Rob and when I saw my mom and then when I called my dad to let him know that we made it home! I miss my Daddy! I love him lots and I always felt like he never loved or cared about me as much as the others, but I know deep down inside he doesn't know how to express that he is really sorry for everything that has happened to me or between us. Anyways I'll post pictures later!

SO SICK Of IT!!

I am seriously so sick of stupid people! Yesterday Rob couldn't be nice for the life of him and he can't be nice today either. I had planned to go camping this 4th of July weekend. Well it seemed like no one wanted to go cause no one did their part for the trip except me. Then they come to me asking what we should all do this weekend! Well as of right now I think they should all shove it up theirs cause they are ridiculously exhausting and I'm not putting up with it.

Then my Mother!! UGh, has the audacity to say that she was so embarrassed when Lily came in today to visit because she had a big scratch on her face. If you were a mother how would you take that? With a grain of salt? HECK no...... I'm upset!!! She's embarrassed of my poor little baby who accidentally fell off the stairs to the deck when we were leaving, and got cut. But I'm the bad person ALWAYS!!! Cause I say what upsets me and I let you know when you are being SOOOOOOO WRONG!! My Mother is a child who should have never been allowed to have children, she can not take criticism, but does it to others. The only thing I'm looking forward to is packing up my bags and getting the heck out of here for a week. Being with new and fresh faces!! Sorry for my upsettingness but I'm really peeved at the moment, and I can't talk to people about it cause they think I'm the one in the wrong always!