I Have decided to be something cute.. because thinking about it dressing up trashy while you're pregnant does not go well! Trashy pregnant women are trashy pregnant women and that's how I feel about that. I was having a hard time Seeing what would fit over my CUTE belly, until it came to my attention that my mom had this costume from awhile back that I would wear!! SO be it I'm wearing it and I look so fab! I hate singing praises to myself, but it is hard to feel cute when you're 9 months pregnant and nothing really looks good anymore.
I'm getting a new laptop next week because I found a really good deal, plus I wont have to spend all the money I have saved up I can use my last paycheck to buy it. I'm excited its all white and small and perfect for me. Now I just have to fix the Mac, sell it, Sell my massage table, and hopefully I will be fine with not working for a couple of months!
Anyways I'll take a picture later and show everyone my Halloween Costume!!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Ugh!
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse they did. Pretty sure I'm moving out and not speaking to anyone. I don't need anyone's help, or so called support. I love someone who I know isn't the best, but who is perfect? Can anyone answer that? Who is anywhere close to God in being perfect? No one so why does everyone expect so much out of someone. I don't get it and I don't care anymore to try and understand why people are so evil and vindictive.
I wonder to myself why on earth would I allow myself to get pregnant to bring a child into this less than perfect world to be tackled by everyone's jealousy, and guilt, and hatred. How on earth could I have over looked all the bad in this world to bring someone so innocent and perfect, without sin or fault into this world where people can corrupt her poor little spirit. I don't know and in a way I feel selfish for doing that.
I'm really tired of the hurt that people cause me. I really am.. I'm tired of it half the time always being family that does that. I have major sacrifices coming up....
I wonder to myself why on earth would I allow myself to get pregnant to bring a child into this less than perfect world to be tackled by everyone's jealousy, and guilt, and hatred. How on earth could I have over looked all the bad in this world to bring someone so innocent and perfect, without sin or fault into this world where people can corrupt her poor little spirit. I don't know and in a way I feel selfish for doing that.
I'm really tired of the hurt that people cause me. I really am.. I'm tired of it half the time always being family that does that. I have major sacrifices coming up....
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
6 weeks left!
To tell you the truth I'm not sure If I will make the 6 weeks I'm guess I will make it to 4 weeks til the baby comes! There is no way with how much pressure there is on my pelvis that she is not ready to come and great the world. I want my little girl here with my now, but not bad enough that she will have to go through any pain in the NICU. I just have this strong feeling that she does want to come before Thanksgiving. At least she will be here for Christmas! I can't wait to quit working I'm so drained and I don't even do anything at work, but I need to save up a lot of money just incase something happens! I pray that nothing ever does happen to myself of Rob or the baby, but now days what you least expect, happens.
So Sarah said we would take pictures and we never did.. I'm going to have to jump her case for that.. She is a good picture taker! And we need little belly pics!! So yeah I'm officially bored at work. I have this Aunt that is bothering me and she wants to be my friend on facebook so bad.. umm hello can she not get the hint that I deleted her for a reason.
She went and told my whole family that I was pregnant and I have no idea how she found out, cause only my Parents, Sarah, Trin and Turner and of course Rob knew! So I don't know. She called my unlce in Afghanistan to tell him and of course my poor grandmother who loves me to death. I'm angry because I feel like that was my business and she went behind my back and told everyone as if it was some kind of bad thing. Umm hello last thing I knew I'm an adult and pick and choose what I do in life. One thing I will not do is be like her and give my daughter away to various family members so I can go run around with men. NEVER!! I have basically signed my life over to this little angel that I have no idea if she will even like me or not, but I wanna try and make her life the best as possible even though the situation is a lot more difficult then others. I just don't want anymore hurt in my life, especially from family.. you know they are the ones that are supposed to be there for you, but not this family member. They choose randomly out of a hat who they want to target and throw under the bus. First it's my Grandma, then My Brother Jerry, and Then my Mom, and now Me! So not having it at all!!
So Sarah said we would take pictures and we never did.. I'm going to have to jump her case for that.. She is a good picture taker! And we need little belly pics!! So yeah I'm officially bored at work. I have this Aunt that is bothering me and she wants to be my friend on facebook so bad.. umm hello can she not get the hint that I deleted her for a reason.
She went and told my whole family that I was pregnant and I have no idea how she found out, cause only my Parents, Sarah, Trin and Turner and of course Rob knew! So I don't know. She called my unlce in Afghanistan to tell him and of course my poor grandmother who loves me to death. I'm angry because I feel like that was my business and she went behind my back and told everyone as if it was some kind of bad thing. Umm hello last thing I knew I'm an adult and pick and choose what I do in life. One thing I will not do is be like her and give my daughter away to various family members so I can go run around with men. NEVER!! I have basically signed my life over to this little angel that I have no idea if she will even like me or not, but I wanna try and make her life the best as possible even though the situation is a lot more difficult then others. I just don't want anymore hurt in my life, especially from family.. you know they are the ones that are supposed to be there for you, but not this family member. They choose randomly out of a hat who they want to target and throw under the bus. First it's my Grandma, then My Brother Jerry, and Then my Mom, and now Me! So not having it at all!!
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