A Baby Girl!

So we went to the Doctors on Wednesday and My heart was about to fall out of my chest. I couldn't wait to see my baby it had been two months since the first time and I was about to die. Not only that but I was worried that something was going to be terribly wrong. Thank God that everything was working out as normal. I had rushed that morning to target to buy a CD- DVD thing, so that I can show my parents in Puerto Rico what the good news was. That whole morning I just had a feeling that it would be such a joyous day. I'm in love with my angel and to be honest it wouldn't have mattered to me if it was a boy of a girl. I had just been praying to God to please bless me with a little girl. As a single parent and a young one at that I wouldn't be able to explain the things that he would need to know. I mean I know anatomy very well, but when it comes to another aspect of a young mans life I have no clue!!
My babies Father and my Mother went with me to find out the great news. We are sitting in the ultra sound room and things get started quickly. She asks us what we are hoping for and we both tell her it doesn't matter, but deep down inside I want my baby girl! Our baby was being so stubborn and did not want to show off the goods. Finally not but 5 minutes into the whole thing she tells us its a girl! My Mom was more excited then any of us crying and screaming and shaking our ultra sound girl like crazy. It was a good day for all of us. Well except the dad.. I know he wanted a boy, but as we were looking at our Beautiful creation who could ever wish that they had something else? Not me.
The look on his face was priceless as he just watched our baby in amazement. Maybe he had finally realized what I was so excited over after all. He looked just as Beautiful as our baby girl did and for a moment I felt a loving connection between us as we stared into each others eyes for a couple of minutes. Then I took my eyes off of him and he was still staring at me I could see it in the corner of my eye. Maybe he finally had some appreciation for me, and seeing what wait it is to carry such a Beautiful thing takes a toll on a womens body, mind, and spirit. But it is worth every single minute of it.
Anywho God has blessed me with a baby girl to bring into this world, and I'm sad that my brother Cris didn't get to experience this with my family! The saddest part is that he never got to experience the unlce factor he passed before our nephew Korban was born, but I'm sure that he is in the very same Heaven My baby girl just came from, and I know that deep down inside my heart he encouraged her to choose me as her mother because I would love and care for her just as much as I love care for him. I hope that our next child can be a baby so it can take a little part of my ever missed brother, I know he would love that

So up to these 20 weeks.

As of right now I have felt a little pulsing kick on my lower belly from the baby at least 15 times. The annoying thing is that I'm at work and I'm very tired and I want to go home. I want to go to bed and watch a movie or something and eat some really good food. The only sad thing about being pregnant is the sudden urge to eat some really random things. Thank goodness that I've never wanted to eat soap or anything like most women do, but I always want fast food. It sounds so much more appetizing then the food I used to eat on a daily bases.
I have to thank my friends and family, for being such a great support and backbone during this difficult time. I know that being pregnant and not married and young is not the best thing, but I could be a lot worse off. I really don't feel like I have done anything wrong or shameful for people to point a hand and blame. I did something with someone I was very in love with at the time, and we didn't care about the consiquences. Now that the result is what we expected things are a lot rockier then they should have been. He's ashamed and wants to hide behind the garments and the church or whatever, and really doesn't want people to know. Too late! I'm showing and if you can't tell I'm 5 months pregnant then I feel really good about my body but sorry for you. Anyways I find out on Wednesday what I am blessed to be bringing in the world!