Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Recently

I haven't been able to do anything. Since times are tough I can't even afford to go back to school in January. I don't want to take out student loans because I'm afraid of when the time comes to pay them back I wont be able to! I've just been so depressed about it. My dreams of being a nurse are being pushed back further and further. UGH!! Things are just not fun right now, I'm severely depressed because I stay home all day with Lili and I don't talk to an adult all day until Rob or my mom come home, and they are always in a bad mood so the interaction isn't even fun. Like I can't even pray without feeling so sad and empty; praying for a miracle or some sort of help with life. I feel like I'm screaming in a sound proof room almost.

On The Flip side! Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I'm pretty excited! Lili will have the best Christmas for sure. That little girl is so spoiled, yup everything I said i would never do I have done. I get her everything within our financial needs and she is happy! She has more toys then Toy r us! No joke that little girl has everything. But we get to give her the most important gift tomorrow which is her BIG GIRL CAR SEAT!! WHOOT WHOOT! I can't wait, I don't like carrying her around in the infant seat!
So Momma's birthday was today and I made her a Red Velvet Cake from scratch with Cream Cheese Icing. We didn't even eat a peace because we went to dinner at Tucano's, and we all know what that means. Except this time I so wasn't happy the only thing that I absolutely loved was the Beef Brisket (Maybe that's just the Texan in me) and The Garlic Serlion or whatever it is!
I will post some pics of the night!

My Girl Feel Asleep!


Mom, excited to read cards and open gifts!



2 comments:

erika @ life unfluffed said...

Hey Steph,
First of all, you look GORGEOUS in that picture. Seriously, gorgeous.

Second, I'm sorry you're feeling stuck. That is the worst feeling ever. Just remember, you're loved by lots of people. And, you are sooo lucky to have Lili. So many people would kill to be in your position. To have a baby to care for and mother (ME!), so when times get hard, just try to remember how lucky, truly lucky you are to have what you have.

I'll keep you in my prayers! You'll figure something out. Don't worry.

Katie Jane said...

Cute picture of you and Lili! I love your new long hair! I'm free anytime you need or would like to have a "big person" conversation. Also, if you want to talk financial aid especially student loans feel free to call me I've used them and am still it's not too bad when it's time to pay them back. I hope you had a Merry Christmas! Love you! Katie