Swim Swim Time!

Lili's First time swimming in a pool!!!!

Daddy holding me ready to go!

We stole Kewtin's Float, but we have our own now!
We had such a good time. Trinity and Ryan got a hotel and we just went swimming with them the next day.. so much fun! Especially since my little girl LOVED THE POOL!

Momma's In Love

With Gerard Butler. He is probably the sexiest thing to happen to Hollywood since Brad Pitt, and Brad isn't even has sexy has Gerard. I want to marry him some day!!!

Just down

So I've just been so down lately it's crazy! I feel like things might be falling apart and it's way out of my control. I don't agree with some of the things that are going on and that are being said and I feel like I'm not getting the respect that I deserve. I won't get into too much detail, but the situation is stinky. It feels like the only thing I have right now are my friendships, and my mom and of course Lili. I need to save my relationship but it's really hard right now! I need to find a new apartment, but the thing is I don't want to waste money on rent anymore. I want to buy my own place. A place I can do whatever I please with. We will see whats going to happen.

Ears Pierced!

Baby Girl got her ears pierced today and she wasn't too happy about it. At first she fought it and fought it and yelled and screamed! No tears She was just upset. We tried to get her hands away from her ears so we could do it all at once, but she was reluctant to do so then we tried to get her shoulders to go down, but she was reluctant to do that too! Oh boy.. so after what seemed like hours she finally got pierced and these are the photos! She was such a good girl. She only cried for a little bit after they got pierced and then.. she fell asleep! I love my girl she is the best!

Getting ready
Almost got me but I moved My head!
Mommy had to come help!
The end I fell right to sleep after that!

It just got so much easier!

So Rob being layed off gives us so much to work with. He can get his car business going which has been ok for him considering he had a full time job. But now I can go to school full time and get my degree a lot faster then we had anticipated. This will be a good thing for us. He's just going to watch Lili in the day time while i'm at school and work at night.. who knows we haven't figured it out just yet, but Nurses are in high demand so the faster I finish the faster I can get a job and support us so we can get back on our feet.
You know everyone is knocking hard on the President when it's not his fault we are in this mess. He is doing the best he can. You can't make steak when you were handed crap on the platter!! I think it's going to take awhile and we as American's need to do our part in helping each other out. Whether it's the food drive, giving blood or plasma. Standing in line to pass out food. All of these things would help us out in the long run because God will repay us in some way or another!

Since Cris passed away I was diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Dissorder) It's been getting really bad lately I just keep running the past 2 years in my head, and it' s really hard just watching Lili and thinking about having to explain to her that she had 2 uncles but now she only has one. I can't explain how much it hurts watching her act the way she does and knowing that my brother is missing out on everything that is going on down here. Sometimes I get really horrible images in my head and I like have to squeeze a blanket and my eyes shut to try and think of a happy image. For those of you who don't know what PTSD is it's like reliving the worst moment of your life 5 to almost 15 times a day. For some it could be getting fired, or finding out you have cancer, or that you lost a certain amount of money, or watching someone pass. Even getting divorced or finding out that your spouse cheated. For me it's finding out I will never see my Brother for the rest of my time on earth. So with PTSD you relive the phone call, the process, the funeral and after the funeral like healing time. It's like a movie being played over and over again. So lately after Lili it's just been getting worse and worse. The only cure for this is like rapid eye movement therapy and that's not even a cure.. it's supposed to "help" and of course just getting a clean mental picture in your head, but it is so hard to think of something beautiful when you have this horrible thing playing in your mind. I just thank God that it hasn't effected my parenting to Lili. I will admit it hits me with i'm with her and she's probably like why is mom shaking her head so much lol!! But I just want to shield Lili from as much pain as possible!

Boiling Eggs in the Apartment Fire!

Ok so the girls in the apartment below us left eggs boiling and caught their apartment on fire!!! How the heck they do that is beyond me. I always check everything before I leave especially my flat iron. Anyways so I hear the fire detector go off and I'm searching my whole apartment thinking that it's my place so I'm listening from room to room and I get louder in the hallway so I listen and I cant put it together. So I go back and do what I was doing, and I'm telling my friend that the alarm is still going off. I was so tempted to call the fire department because maybe I was hearing something. When all Of a sudden I smelt it. Something was on fire. So I hurred got Lili in a blanket and left my apartment when the fire department should up. Out just in time! Anyways a couple of neighbors were out talking with me and then the girl of the apartment shows up. They talk to her and then she comes out and explains what happend.
It turns out that she wasn't even in the area she had just got home. So It looks like her roomate left the stove on with boiling eggs all day long and it has exploded started a small kitchen fire and melted the counter tops and the kitchen floor. They couldn't go inside for 5 hours which means they couldn't go home unti almost 10pm. Im just grateful that it wasn't any worse then it was, and that my apartment is perfectly fine. I couldn't imagine my apartment being destroyed my daughters things mean so much more to me then anything I have ever gotten myself. Like I would try and save her clothes if I could go back and save anything else. Forget the wii the brand new tv and computer.. save Lili's clothes.

So since the economy is really really bad rob got layed off. I didn't really see it coming i thought they would go out of business first, but oh well. What upsets me is that he's counting on unemployment to pull him through. We have a lot of expenses. A baby is SO EXPENSIVE I'm not complaining cause I love her but i cant wait until she is older and out of diapers!