Happy Halloween!!

I Have decided to be something cute.. because thinking about it dressing up trashy while you're pregnant does not go well! Trashy pregnant women are trashy pregnant women and that's how I feel about that. I was having a hard time Seeing what would fit over my CUTE belly, until it came to my attention that my mom had this costume from awhile back that I would wear!! SO be it I'm wearing it and I look so fab! I hate singing praises to myself, but it is hard to feel cute when you're 9 months pregnant and nothing really looks good anymore.

I'm getting a new laptop next week because I found a really good deal, plus I wont have to spend all the money I have saved up I can use my last paycheck to buy it. I'm excited its all white and small and perfect for me. Now I just have to fix the Mac, sell it, Sell my massage table, and hopefully I will be fine with not working for a couple of months!

Anyways I'll take a picture later and show everyone my Halloween Costume!!

Ugh!

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse they did. Pretty sure I'm moving out and not speaking to anyone. I don't need anyone's help, or so called support. I love someone who I know isn't the best, but who is perfect? Can anyone answer that? Who is anywhere close to God in being perfect? No one so why does everyone expect so much out of someone. I don't get it and I don't care anymore to try and understand why people are so evil and vindictive.
I wonder to myself why on earth would I allow myself to get pregnant to bring a child into this less than perfect world to be tackled by everyone's jealousy, and guilt, and hatred. How on earth could I have over looked all the bad in this world to bring someone so innocent and perfect, without sin or fault into this world where people can corrupt her poor little spirit. I don't know and in a way I feel selfish for doing that.
I'm really tired of the hurt that people cause me. I really am.. I'm tired of it half the time always being family that does that. I have major sacrifices coming up....

6 weeks left!

To tell you the truth I'm not sure If I will make the 6 weeks I'm guess I will make it to 4 weeks til the baby comes! There is no way with how much pressure there is on my pelvis that she is not ready to come and great the world. I want my little girl here with my now, but not bad enough that she will have to go through any pain in the NICU. I just have this strong feeling that she does want to come before Thanksgiving. At least she will be here for Christmas! I can't wait to quit working I'm so drained and I don't even do anything at work, but I need to save up a lot of money just incase something happens! I pray that nothing ever does happen to myself of Rob or the baby, but now days what you least expect, happens.

So Sarah said we would take pictures and we never did.. I'm going to have to jump her case for that.. She is a good picture taker! And we need little belly pics!! So yeah I'm officially bored at work. I have this Aunt that is bothering me and she wants to be my friend on facebook so bad.. umm hello can she not get the hint that I deleted her for a reason.

She went and told my whole family that I was pregnant and I have no idea how she found out, cause only my Parents, Sarah, Trin and Turner and of course Rob knew! So I don't know. She called my unlce in Afghanistan to tell him and of course my poor grandmother who loves me to death. I'm angry because I feel like that was my business and she went behind my back and told everyone as if it was some kind of bad thing. Umm hello last thing I knew I'm an adult and pick and choose what I do in life. One thing I will not do is be like her and give my daughter away to various family members so I can go run around with men. NEVER!! I have basically signed my life over to this little angel that I have no idea if she will even like me or not, but I wanna try and make her life the best as possible even though the situation is a lot more difficult then others. I just don't want anymore hurt in my life, especially from family.. you know they are the ones that are supposed to be there for you, but not this family member. They choose randomly out of a hat who they want to target and throw under the bus. First it's my Grandma, then My Brother Jerry, and Then my Mom, and now Me! So not having it at all!!

Pictures From the Beginning til Now-ish!

So here I am at 18 weeks! Crazy But I think I look good. Just a little belly, It was Awesome!



Here I am at 21 weeks. We just found out we were having a Baby Girl! Really Exciting day!



Ok so somewhat of a really big jump! This is me at 26 weeks! WOW BIG DIFFERENCE



This is week 28 not that big of a deal. 7 months my belly looking good!




This is the most recent! 31 weeks! All though I am 33 weeks This was at my Baby shower! We never knew what could happen so we had it a little early. Better safe then sorry!

Halloween!

So Halloween is just a couple weeks away and I have always been so down to dress up and go and have fun! This time that isn't the case!

I have no idea what I should be. What's appropriate, and what's not? Should I go to friends parties or is that a little weird? I mean everyone once in their lifetime has been pregnant during halloween but what do they dress up as?!! It really isn't a big deal but I want to look cute too you know! Even if it's an awkward time for me.

8 months all ready!!

I'm 8 months all ready!! I'm getting soooo nervous it's not even funny! I'm probably not going to be taking birthing classes because I figure I read enough books on pregnancy to be as prepared as possible, but you can never be prepared for this sort of thing, I think. I'm starting to get really uncomfortable like my baby doesn't fit within my body.. my belly is growing, and it's growing nicely. The thing is that it's growing upward not outward so I feel feet and what not in my ribs, and I have to eat small and frequent meals because my stomach feels like it's the size of an apple haha not a good thing. It really hurts sometimes when she sticks her little elbows out of my belly cause my skin isn't that stretchy. I have no Stretchmarks at all which I LOVE!!! But still you know. I am very grateful to God that he gave me this experience, but as for more kids in the future I will probably have to say no to that one. I am glad for all the energy and all the strive I have to provide for my child. I can't imagine sitting on my butt all day and letting Rob take care of me somewhat with the way things are going now days. I'm so happy that Rob isn't struggling financially for us, and that he is taking his schooling seriously. I'm almost jealous of him in a way. He's so head strong and I don't care what anyone says about him. He is a good person, just made some dumb choices. Yes I'm calling myself a dumb choice.

My baby shower was on Saturday and it was really fun. I'm happy everyone came out to support me that said they would. I got a lot of really good stuff. I can't help but feel like someone is jealous of me, and I'm not going to say who or give any hints as to what they are, but everytime I tell this person what I have or what I'm getting they have to try and top it with someone they "asked" for. The way this person looks at me you can tell that they are way envious at the life I live compared to them.

Anyways I feel really bad for someone that I used to loathe. I feel bad for her and her husband and just recently born baby. I can't imagine how much pain this poor family is going through with there little baby being really sick. I don't care how evil you were in the past no one deserves to go through any pain what so ever. I know we aren't even close to being ok with each other but I wish her the best and her family the best because I have matured as a mother to be.

Last but least I'm glad to say that I can't wait, and that I feel like i'm going to have my baby early. We will have to see though. Fingers crossed that it wont happen, but you never know!!