We had a great Christmas

This year Christmas was pretty tough seeing that my little family is officially seperated:(

Lil had a wonderful Christmas she got a million My Little Pony things, and lots of clothes, and an activity center so she can color!

I got a brand new blow dryer and flat iron... YAY I was so happy! I also got two sets of jamies and best of all MONEY!! So I bought my TOMS!!! It was a great Christmas for all of us!! My ex sister in law forgot My scentsy gift :( but thats ok.. I will just wait until I get my new place for more things!! Its going to be so hard for a little while.. I might even have to get a second job! I have to get my own place.. I really don't wanna stay at my moms! I love her but I like my space! I love Spanish Fork too! I wouldnt wanna live anywhere else! Anyways I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Christmas Morning!

Christmas Eve laying on the floor! This is the only way I would get a picture!

Today My Girl Is 2!

Today was Lili girls Birthday!! My baby is 2! Ugh it seems like it was just yesterday, but I am so happy to have her in my life. The party was a success!! Thanks to Everyone that came! We had a Dora and Diego party cause she is obsessed with them. I think it went well overall! It's hard when you try to mingle with everyone! I feel like I might have left people out! But I think we did good! Maybe we can get pictures uploaded and I can show you guys! Anyways! I'm so tired... I've been working a lot and it's been stressful. I went to the doctors today and I have Bronchitis, I had to get two prescriptions because it's pretty bad... but I never went to Walgreens to fill them hahaha! Anyways I will upload those pictures later!
Happy Birthday to my Beautiful girl!!!! Mommy Loves you more then you will know!

Fall season for us!

Just pics of lils and her pumpkins. She was so excited when she stepped outside the other morning and Grandpa Gourley had left her pumpkins on the steps. She was screaming like it was the best thing ever!! Stinkin' cuteness is what my baby is. I'm studying hard or hardly studying if you want to call it I NEED to get into this program and it's like flying over my head. This is why they say don't take breaks in between school because it's too hard to go back, ugh pray for me please! Anyways Lil is going to be a pirate for Halloween and I have no idea what to be some cute of course!! I need some help. I need to sell my contract with sprint. Since going back to school I can't afford to pay $60 a month anymore, cause that's gas money a month. So my parents agreed to let me be on their plan. BUT I can't afford a cancellation fee too. So if you know anyone who is wanting to switch to sprint.. let me know cause I will give them my phone. I also get 25% off my bill. Anyways I have the HTC Hero.. it's a wicked awesome phone. So please just let me know if you know anyone or even if you yourselves want it. I pay $60 a month for unlimited talk text and web. Plus 25% off like I said. Thanks!

CD95DDBE-EAB4-AB02-9F70-EFF5CD0B40F8

1.02.28

Nothing really happening!

Rob has 3 weeks off and guess how many times I get to see him!!??? Maybe 3 days lol! Hunting season is a killer for me, no pun intended. I miss hims and I've barely had time to talk to him cause he has no reception this is gay! On the bright side some exciting stuff has happened. My Brother moved in with us... He's back from Puerto Rico which makes me really happy cause I haven't had a sibling around since Cris died. Oh how we miss you Cris.. but this will just have to do as well. He's transferring to the nursing program here, which means we will be going to school together!! I start in January pretty exciting. I've been so down lately and I've just been praying for things to work out for me.. and to my surprise they really are!
About the house... the bank called Rob and said that they wanted to work with his offer. Well it's not the nice houses in Hobble which he was second guessing.. it's the Wizard of Oz in Palmyra. I went to visit that house with my brother the other day. The neighbors have two dogs, a German Shepard which doesn't bother me at all because that dog is so nice and especially to Lil', BUT they have a PIT BULL!! And he's mean.. he's kept me in my car a couple of times it's pretty funny, but I don't want to be doing that everyday! Especially when I'm with my daughter in our backyard and the dog comes over and tries to kill us. I think I all ready told you but the house needs repairs. The kitchen has to be fixed first, and then in the Emerald City laundry room I want to put another shower.. just a shower which is needed in that house.. and then little by little I will start fixing other major things. I don't have any pictures this time to show you so it's probably pretty boring.

Some minor updates!

My Daughter is officially a big girl who needs big girl undies! She goes to the potty all by herself and all because she wanted to and not because I wanted her to, all at 22 months not bad at all. AHHH she makes me so proud to be her mother sometimes it takes my breath away and I sometimes have to remind myself to breathe. I guess that's only a love a mother would know.
We are all doing good and we have fallen in love with 2 BEAUTIFUL properties in Hobble Creek Canyon, and Rob's family friend is going to help us out as our Realtor. Now the only thing left is to place the best bids and wait and see what happens. That's about it.

This weekend!

This weekend was really busy for me... we had two important events to attend!

1. Was my Best Friend from High School Alex's Wedding. She married Ben Speas who I've never met, but he seems to be so in love with my friend it's wonderful. They both show so much love to each other its what love should look like. The wedding was at the Bungalow in Pleasant Groove. I have honestly never heard of it before, but it was a pretty neat place and the food was actually pretty good. It looks to be family owned and operated so that's a plus too. I just felt so bad because I was supposed to say some embarrassing things about Alex during the roast, but my child was being so bad I was running all over trying to stop her from breaking things. Ugh not fun! Next time I know, no more kids they just don't want to sit and listen or hang out. I am so happy for them and especially because they got married in the temple, and if you knew the Alex that I knew back in the day... it's just a complete 180 from who she used to be. She has grown up to be so kind and loving.. just an Alex that is really a true example of a good LDS women.

The happy couple I didn't get too many pictures cause Lily would scream if i took the camera


Walking to the reception.

Lil and I waiting for the wedding to start
She made a friend.

2. We had my friend Gabriel Jolley's Eagle Court Honor. He is a good kid, always has been and always will be. I would babysit this boy all the time and he was just so funny. He wants to go to Stanford for Gymnastics, and I honestly hope he gets to go, or even for the Olympics would be so amazing for him.

This was before we walked in of course my hair is flat and im holding a bottle.

I look like a heffer but everyone else looks great!And last but not least my baby girl! She puts on smile on my face even if she is being out of control.

So update on the house! It's a no go.. which is not bothering me at all we have a ton of houses on our list and the next one is in Springville and it's got a pond with a well, but the house was just so weird. I will keep you all updated though!

We...

Put an offer on a house! We have been looking for soo long and finally we just say one and put an offer on it, hopefully the bank accepts. It's the total opposite of what I thought my first house would be. It's so UGLY on the inside!! I get teary eyed just thinking about it, but it's the potential of the house that makes it appealing. It sits on 5.22 acres in the middle of nowhere.. not really but it's in the stix. I'm more stressed about the fact that I have to actually remodel something with Rob's brother and his mom and my mom. They all offered to help and clean and what not, but it's just UGLY : ..... ( The laundry room I kid you not looks like the Emerald City from The Wizard of OZ. It's not the house I want but more the land. I will be living in a 60's nightmare for a little while. First thing that is getting fixed is the kitchen and the carpet and Rob is on Board with everything that has to do with it! Then the next project after that is putting in a new bathroom in the laundry room! Which is HUGE and I really think it would be a good idea. Then who knows what else we would do. If you guys know people that remodel and they throw away good bathroom cabinets or anything like that let me know! Cause the upstairs bathroom is a hot mess and I hate it, but we just don't have an extra $50,000 to fix everything we want.

So an update with lily! She will be 2 in 3 months!!! So exciting and she is having a Dora/Diego Fiesta Party. She counts to 10 in 3 languages 1. Tongan 2. Spanish 3. English. She can point and tell you what just about anything is. She sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star all by herself word by word.. and She loves Old McDonald, the only animal she seems to really care about though is a duck. She isn't potty trained just yet, and I'm terrified to try just because it makes me sad that she will be able to use a baby potty! Her new favorite word is YUP! She absolutely loves to play at McDonald's once a week. She loves to play tea party too. We also went to Lagoon a couple weeks ago, and she loved that as well.. went on the rides by herself.. she did not cry once.
Well that's about it.

We're Back!

From the state that is inhabited by CRAZIES!! The trip was fun aside from the face that my sister and baby JO were in the hospital the whole time! That little Angel was sent from Heaven! After everything that they had to do to help him get better, what he cried was so minimal! God really answered our prayers and he is doing really really good.
We never got to do much of anything but we spent time with family which is the most important thing of all! I cried like a baby when I had to leave! The look on my dad's face destroyed me. He looked as if he would never see me and Lil ever again. I cried the whole 4 1/2 hr plane ride home and when I saw Rob and when I saw my mom and then when I called my dad to let him know that we made it home! I miss my Daddy! I love him lots and I always felt like he never loved or cared about me as much as the others, but I know deep down inside he doesn't know how to express that he is really sorry for everything that has happened to me or between us. Anyways I'll post pictures later!

SO SICK Of IT!!

I am seriously so sick of stupid people! Yesterday Rob couldn't be nice for the life of him and he can't be nice today either. I had planned to go camping this 4th of July weekend. Well it seemed like no one wanted to go cause no one did their part for the trip except me. Then they come to me asking what we should all do this weekend! Well as of right now I think they should all shove it up theirs cause they are ridiculously exhausting and I'm not putting up with it.

Then my Mother!! UGh, has the audacity to say that she was so embarrassed when Lily came in today to visit because she had a big scratch on her face. If you were a mother how would you take that? With a grain of salt? HECK no...... I'm upset!!! She's embarrassed of my poor little baby who accidentally fell off the stairs to the deck when we were leaving, and got cut. But I'm the bad person ALWAYS!!! Cause I say what upsets me and I let you know when you are being SOOOOOOO WRONG!! My Mother is a child who should have never been allowed to have children, she can not take criticism, but does it to others. The only thing I'm looking forward to is packing up my bags and getting the heck out of here for a week. Being with new and fresh faces!! Sorry for my upsettingness but I'm really peeved at the moment, and I can't talk to people about it cause they think I'm the one in the wrong always!

Currently!

I quit my job at Sears! Hallelujah!!!! I really felt so depressed when I would wake up in the morning and think about going there everyday. There is so much negativity and my soul was in pain... I kid you not! It ended up being for the best anyways because Rob got the Railroad job, and we only see him 12 days out of the month.. So I want to take advantage of that because it's really hard for us right now, especially Lil. I've been wanting to get a puppy because I'm so lonely just with baby, and maybe if we had a puppy we would be extra busy!!

Readers you can be proud of me! I have a meeting on Wednesday to go back to Nursing school and Finish my RN!! I am so excited.. this will be so good for us. I know that Rob doesn't want to keep his job long, but he is going to have to in order for me to go to school. Plus I finally need my new car and my house! This house thing has been hard, because we can't to an agreement. So far it down to this; I want a house he wants a Ranch. We can afford them both, but only if I work will we be able to have a Ranch.

We leave for Florida soon, I'm excited.. but thanks to the idiots at Bp The beach is officially crossed off the list.

Hi!

I'm a bad blogger lately! Anyways here's what's going down. I am trying to make a blanket for my new nephew! They live in Florida, so I don't want to make anything to heavy! So I choose some fabric that was light. For the front I did a Winnie the Pooh print (really cute!) and on the back just a solid. For the border I got some satin fabric but it frays a lot on the edge that is trimmed. So I can tell I didn't make a good choice, but I all ready bought it I'm just going to use it. Does anybody have any tips on how to sew the satin fabric on the border of the blanket; so the fraying edge isn't visible! I'm trying to tuck it under but I might not be doing it right!

What's new in these neck of the woods. Nothing really. Like I said we are going to Florida in July for a week. We are going to Nickelodeon Theme Park and Eating Breakfast with the Characters. That will be fun for Lil cause she loves Dora! And then My dad said something about Aquatica I don't know what that is. Rob got that railroad job. So he leaves at the end of the month. Home one week gone one week. It's going to be hard but it is what it is. I applied for a job at W.I.C but I have to take a typing test! Anyways so that's about all that is going on around here.
Lil does the funniest thing now! She will hug me really hard and then say "Oh nice!!" Then she will grab my face and give me a kiss, but she's never satisfied unless she kisses my lips. Its so weird but I think it's funny, cause she will hug kiss, hug, kiss, and then say "Oh nice!" Hahaha anyways that's about it. She will blow you kisses to, and says just about everything. She can have a conversation on the phone with you, even though you wont understand much. My girl is so bright, and it hurts so much when Rob's mom thinks that she's not smart enough, or tall enough. That women is miserable and she just has to take it out on my poor lily! At least Lil is Healthier then Ryan's kids.. that's all I have to say!

Prayers for my Friend and his Family Please!!

So last night when I got home from work my friend got online and was talking to me. The Ironic thing about that is he is on his mission. The first thing that he said was
"Steph did you hear?" I said "No, what's up?"
"My dad was killed yesterday!" I immediately remembered what I felt the exact moment they called and told me that my Brother had died! I can't explain the feeling of emptiness that you suddenly feel, anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, regret, confusion.. every feeling and sentiment in the world hits you like a ton of bricks.. That is the only way that I can explain it. How do you get over the pain he asks? I don't, I haven't, I can't... I just live with it. How soon do you learn to live with it? As soon as you can come to terms with yourself, as soon as you can tell yourself everything's going to be fine, and I need to pull through and be proud of who he was.. honor him in everything that I do. I still break down in the shower.. I still hurt sometimes when I hear songs.. I still feel anger when I see his friends living life normally, but there are just somethings that you can't do anything about. I wrote many unanswered letters to church leaders, and asked many church members what is was to die. I know the plan of salvation, and I know what happens and for a really long time, I was upset at the church and it's members for the answers I was given, or the lack of attention I was receiving when I needed it the most. The only thing I can say is that it made me a better person today. I think it needed to happen in order for me to be ok with myself. Salo your dad will see justice. God will never let his death be in vain. I know that right now it may seem like life doesn't matter and it hurts to much, but the pain does weaken and you do become stronger.
So what I ask is for all my blog readers to please pray for the Jaar family that they may feel comfort and hope in this moment. Help them know that they will see their loved one again, and that they will miss him their remainder on earth, but that's the way it's suppose to be. Help them to not be sadden by his loss, but to be grateful for the time spent with him... and the opportunity he gave you for life, and all the love that he gave you.

Random

So I made these block like 3 months ago and I never took a picture of them to show everyone what they look like!

It Says Cherish! I have no idea where to put them though so they are chillin in front of my T.V.

Close up. The stupid scrapbook paper bubbled on a couple block but they still look way cute!

And the end of cherish.

So pretty much still not a lot going on. I need a new job. I hate mine.. so if anyone knows of anything really good that is hiring let me know please!

So today

Im sitting here being not a very good mother but it was only for a second. I was reading a friends blog and lily wants up on the couch! When I look down on the floor there is her diaper! WHAT A GIRL! Gosh Hope she doesn't pee on the couch!

We've been fighting!

We've been trying so hard to get Lili to eat lunch. For some reason she never wants lunch! I have been thinking of ways to make her eat it and they have all been a failure. Except I noticed she loves meat and noodles. So Today I had an idea. Why not combine the two? So I was looking for spaghetti and we didn't have any. But I took out some hot dogs and cut them up then I took some of those pasta noodles that you get in the bag, and what I did was stab them into the hot dog so it looked like a squid. I cooked it up, and then I served it to her and she looked at it like "What the heck is this Momma," But she ate it and said Yummy the whole time, and so that was it! I took some pictures sorry they are so dark and blurry.. but I think kids will enjoy this lunch a lot!

This is on a plate..

It's blurry but it looks like a jelly fish!

I'm Slacking!

I've been working a lot on the weekends, and when I'm not working I'm with Lili. So it's hard to have time for myself. Nothing much has changed. Lili is now starting to understand more when she gets into trouble.. or when she doesn't want something. Or when she does want something. She likes being with other little kids. She can say MOO like the cow and She know what the monkey and the puppies say. She can point out uncle Cris in photos. She knows who Jesus is. Stuff like that. So we were going to get this house in Lake Shore with 3 acres. I think we thought about it too long because it had sold from the last time we went to look at it. It was a deal too good to be true. It had to be fixed but after that It would have been good as new. Oh well those are signs for you. My hours got cut. Well everyone's hours got cut! everyone except managers and a couple of the full time.. are straight part time 20 hours. I got a new phone since my contract is up and I love it. Thanks to work I get 25% off my bill. Which is really nice. Lili has grown an obsession with Dora. It's driving me insane.. She will even look at the tv, point, and say Dora!! AGH! Of course my mom buys her the Dvd's.
On Saturday my Mom was watching Lili and Taelyn and as they were going into the gas station to wash the car and then go to the movies, some jerk rammed right into them missing Lili's side and smashing in the passenger side door. She called me at work because she was freaked out and I left my shift early to see what was going on. Thankfully Taelyn was able to talk to the police and tell them what happened because my mom was a mess. Even though it was an accident and no one was badly hurt she felt guilty because they were in her care! It could happen to anyone. Anyways that's all that's going on here.

P.S. I'm worried about my good friend Elder Jaar! He is serving in the Concepccion: Chile mission. Where the Earthquake hit and I don't know if there is any word on his status! Please pray for him!!

Wow it's been forever!

Not a lot has been happening around here. I've been working, and I want to find a really good daycare for lily so I can work a little more to save a lot more money. We never bought a house because we are looking for a really good deal. Rob wants land, but all the houses that come with land are so trashy, and you have to put a lot of work into them. I mean I'm up to the challenge but I don't really now about $$ wise. Or we have been looking at houses to build with no land and then just live in that for a while until we can afford a couple acres. Or just buy a small house and then turn it into an income property! There's just a lot to think about when it comes to laying the big bucks down. I'm excited though. Rob's thinking about getting a job in North Dakota... GAY!! It pays really good money and he will be gone for 2 weeks out of the month and home for 2. We'll see what happens with that. I think it would be good for him.

Playing outside

Update:

Lily says; No, Don't, Si, Mama, Ama aka grandma, Doa aka Dora, kisses, thanks, and please a little. She can give you five, hugs and kisses. She will brush your hair if you giver her the brush. Trust me its a bad idea, just because she whacks you really hard with the brush on your head.. kinda funny. She dances and what not too. That's about all that's been going on. Oh we've been going to university mall a lot lately because it's too cold to play outside; and my Lily likes to go down the slide on her belly it's hilarious.

She just laid down in the middle of the house!!

This is how fun work is!!